48 Gilmore Girls Quotes That Will Go Down In TV History

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Oy with the Lorelai quotes already.

I know that I am not alone when I say Gilmore Girls has a special place in my heart. It’s a series that I’ve come back to over and over again, as its endearing characters, bittersweet life lessons, and hilarious dialogue always serves as comfort.

Since the show’s quick-witted writing is one of the reasons it’s so loveable, I’m breaking down the 48 most iconic lines in all of Gilmore Girls history.

Let’s start with Lorelai’s legendary coffee-related quips:

1.

“This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an I.V.” – Lorelai Gilmore

2.

“Everything in my life has something to do with coffee. I believe in a former life I was coffee.” – Lorelai Gilmore

3.

“Do you like coffee?” “Only with my oxygen.” – Lorelai Gilmore

4.

“Coffee, please, and a shot of cynicism.” – Lorelai Gilmore

5.

“I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing, walking, and words-putting-into-sentence-doing.” – Lorelai Gilmore

6.

“If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.” – Lorelai Gilmore

7.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee.” – Lorelai Gilmore


The WB / Via giphy.com

“Coffee, coffee, coffee” as in Lorelai really needs her coffee, coffee, coffee.

It’s no surprise that the most well-known lines are part of some mother-daughter banter:

8.

“Oy with the poodles already.” – Lorelai & Rory Gilmore

9.

“It’s a show?” “It’s a lifestyle. It’s a religion.” – Lorelai & Rory Gilmore


The WB / Via tenor.com

They coined the motto of Gilmore Girls fans.

Lorelai’s wisdom is also iconic:

10.

“I smell snow.” – Lorelai Gilmore

11.

“I don’t like Mondays, but unfortunately they come around eventually.” – Lorelai Gilmore

12.

“If you’re going to throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle!” – Lorelai Gilmore

13.

“I’m afraid that once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.” -Lorelai Gilmore

14.

“I’m attracted to pie. It doesn’t mean I need to date pie.” – Lorelai

15.

“It’s all any of us wants: to find a nice person to hang out with ‘til we drop dead.” – Lorelai Gilmore

16.

“If eating cake is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” – Lorelai Gilmore

17.

“Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes.” – Lorelai Gilmore

18.

“You’ve been Gilmored.”

There are also plenty of quotable Rory-isms:

19.

“Who cares if I’m pretty if I fail my finals.” – Rory Gilmore

20.

“A little nervous breakdown can work wonders for a girl.” – Rory Gilmore

21.

“I live in two worlds. One is a world of books.” – Rory Gilmore

22.

“I love you, you idiot!” – Rory Gilmore

23.

“You jump, I jump, Jack.” – Rory Gilmore

24.

“Jerk, ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat boy, low life, butt-face miscreant!” – Rory Gilmore

25.

“I want to get the healthy glow of someone who goes consistently to the gym without actually having to go, of course.” – Kirk Gleason

26.

“I’m so damn lonely not even Animal Planet does it for me anymore.” – Kirk Gleason

27.

“I had an imaginary girlfriend for a while when I was young, but she left me.” – Kirk Gleason

Other Stars Hollows residents are also infamous:

28.

“People are particularly stupid today. I can’t talk anymore.” – Michel Gerard

29.

“There’s a phone call for you, and if I’m to fetch you like a dog, I’d like a cookie and a raise.” – Michel Gerard

30.

“It’s so satisfying to watch people exercise while you eat junk food.” – Lane Kim

31.

“I thought there was a better chance of all four of the Beatles getting back together than you two ever calming down long enough to get engaged.” – Taylor Doose

32.

“Gnome kicking says a lot about a man’s character.” – Babette Dell

33.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am in escrow!” – T.J.

34.

“Does anyone here understand that a man has a right not to have his personal life debated in a public forum? I am not Winona Ryder.” – Jackson Belleville

35.

“That makes me so mad and so sad. I’m smad!” – Sookie St. James

36.

“Cookies for the love and the dean and the cookies for the love and the dean!” – Sookie St. James


The WB / Via giphy.com

This one is right up there with Sookie’s “Rory’s going to Chilton!” song.

The Gilmore girls’ love interests have some memorable lines as well:

37.

“It’s big, fat, happy sunshine day for me.” – Luke Danes

38.

“It’s getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I’ve got to warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.” – Jess Mariano

39.

“People can live for a hundred years without living a minute.” – Logan Huntzberger

40.

“It’s Max Medina. Maaaaax Medina.” – Max Medina

41.

“I just want you to know I’m in. I’m all in.” – Luke Danes

Paris Geller is a category all unto her own:

42.

“I want to live my life so that I’ll be able to read an in-depth biography about myself in later years and not puke.” – Paris Geller

43.

“No men. Just lots and lots of Chinese food.” – Paris Geller

44.

“Is it raining?” “No, it’s National Baptism Day, tie your tubes, idiot.” – Paris Geller


The WB / Via tenor.com

No one was prepared for this comeback.

And last but not least, the savage wit of Emily (and Richard) Gilmore:

45.

“Well, if you expect that muffin to fly back to the kitchen by itself you better go get it a cape.” – Emily Gilmore

46.

“It’s not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open.” – Emily Gilmore

47.

“Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch!” – Richard Gilmore


The WB / Via tenor.com

Cue Emily’s iconic “Well then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I am open for business!”

48.

“You can use your mother’s old golf clubs. They’re upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential.” – Emily Gilmore


The WB / Via giphy.com

Emily in regards to Lorelai, of course. SAVAGE.

Oy with the Gilmore Girls quotes already! Share your favorites in the comments below.



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