Oy with the Lorelai quotes already.
I know that I am not alone when I say Gilmore Girls has a special place in my heart. It’s a series that I’ve come back to over and over again, as its endearing characters, bittersweet life lessons, and hilarious dialogue always serves as comfort.
Since the show’s quick-witted writing is one of the reasons it’s so loveable, I’m breaking down the 48 most iconic lines in all of Gilmore Girls history.
Let’s start with Lorelai’s legendary coffee-related quips:
1.
“This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an I.V.” – Lorelai Gilmore
2.
“Everything in my life has something to do with coffee. I believe in a former life I was coffee.” – Lorelai Gilmore
3.
“Do you like coffee?” “Only with my oxygen.” – Lorelai Gilmore
4.
“Coffee, please, and a shot of cynicism.” – Lorelai Gilmore
5.
“I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing, walking, and words-putting-into-sentence-doing.” – Lorelai Gilmore
6.
“If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.” – Lorelai Gilmore
7.
“Coffee, coffee, coffee.” – Lorelai Gilmore
The WB / Via giphy.com
“Coffee, coffee, coffee” as in Lorelai really needs her coffee, coffee, coffee.
It’s no surprise that the most well-known lines are part of some mother-daughter banter:
8.
“Oy with the poodles already.” – Lorelai & Rory Gilmore
9.
“It’s a show?” “It’s a lifestyle. It’s a religion.” – Lorelai & Rory Gilmore
The WB / Via tenor.com
They coined the motto of Gilmore Girls fans.
Lorelai’s wisdom is also iconic:
10.
“I smell snow.” – Lorelai Gilmore
11.
“I don’t like Mondays, but unfortunately they come around eventually.” – Lorelai Gilmore
12.
“If you’re going to throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle!” – Lorelai Gilmore
13.
“I’m afraid that once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.” -Lorelai Gilmore
14.
“I’m attracted to pie. It doesn’t mean I need to date pie.” – Lorelai
15.
“It’s all any of us wants: to find a nice person to hang out with ‘til we drop dead.” – Lorelai Gilmore
16.
“If eating cake is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” – Lorelai Gilmore
17.
“Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes.” – Lorelai Gilmore
18.
“You’ve been Gilmored.”
There are also plenty of quotable Rory-isms:
19.
“Who cares if I’m pretty if I fail my finals.” – Rory Gilmore
20.
“A little nervous breakdown can work wonders for a girl.” – Rory Gilmore
21.
“I live in two worlds. One is a world of books.” – Rory Gilmore
22.
“I love you, you idiot!” – Rory Gilmore
23.
“You jump, I jump, Jack.” – Rory Gilmore
24.
“Jerk, ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat boy, low life, butt-face miscreant!” – Rory Gilmore
25.
“I want to get the healthy glow of someone who goes consistently to the gym without actually having to go, of course.” – Kirk Gleason
26.
“I’m so damn lonely not even Animal Planet does it for me anymore.” – Kirk Gleason
27.
“I had an imaginary girlfriend for a while when I was young, but she left me.” – Kirk Gleason
Other Stars Hollows residents are also infamous:
28.
“People are particularly stupid today. I can’t talk anymore.” – Michel Gerard
29.
“There’s a phone call for you, and if I’m to fetch you like a dog, I’d like a cookie and a raise.” – Michel Gerard
30.
“It’s so satisfying to watch people exercise while you eat junk food.” – Lane Kim
31.
“I thought there was a better chance of all four of the Beatles getting back together than you two ever calming down long enough to get engaged.” – Taylor Doose
32.
“Gnome kicking says a lot about a man’s character.” – Babette Dell
33.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I am in escrow!” – T.J.
34.
“Does anyone here understand that a man has a right not to have his personal life debated in a public forum? I am not Winona Ryder.” – Jackson Belleville
35.
“That makes me so mad and so sad. I’m smad!” – Sookie St. James
The Gilmore girls’ love interests have some memorable lines as well:
37.
“It’s big, fat, happy sunshine day for me.” – Luke Danes
38.
“It’s getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I’ve got to warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.” – Jess Mariano
39.
“People can live for a hundred years without living a minute.” – Logan Huntzberger
40.
“It’s Max Medina. Maaaaax Medina.” – Max Medina
41.
“I just want you to know I’m in. I’m all in.” – Luke Danes
Paris Geller is a category all unto her own:
42.
“I want to live my life so that I’ll be able to read an in-depth biography about myself in later years and not puke.” – Paris Geller
43.
“No men. Just lots and lots of Chinese food.” – Paris Geller
44.
“Is it raining?” “No, it’s National Baptism Day, tie your tubes, idiot.” – Paris Geller
The WB / Via tenor.com
No one was prepared for this comeback.
And last but not least, the savage wit of Emily (and Richard) Gilmore:
45.
“Well, if you expect that muffin to fly back to the kitchen by itself you better go get it a cape.” – Emily Gilmore
46.
“It’s not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open.” – Emily Gilmore
47.
“Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch!” – Richard Gilmore
The WB / Via tenor.com
Cue Emily’s iconic “Well then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I am open for business!”
48.
“You can use your mother’s old golf clubs. They’re upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential.” – Emily Gilmore
The WB / Via giphy.com
Emily in regards to Lorelai, of course. SAVAGE.
Oy with the Gilmore Girls quotes already! Share your favorites in the comments below.
